How to Protect Your Marriage

In-Laws, Boundaries, and Partnership: How to Protect Your Marriage

Let’s talk about the one conversation nobody really wants to have…

Your parents.
Your in-laws.
And how sometimes… they’re a little too involved in your marriage.

We’ve all heard the stories: the mother-in-law who shows up unannounced. The dad who questions every decision you make. The family members who can’t seem to understand that you and your spouse are building your own life now.

But what happens when those stories aren’t just funny family anecdotes—what happens when it’s your life?

If we’re not careful, the people who raised us and love us can unintentionally start running our marriage for us. And if that happens, the partnership we’re trying to build with our spouse starts to develop cracks.

I know what you might be thinking:
“But it’s just this one time.”
“My mom really wants us to do it her way.”
“I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”

And trust me—I get it. These are hard conversations. But here’s the truth: you’re not just their child anymore. You’re a husband or wife first. You’re building a new family unit. And sometimes, that means setting some tough boundaries—even with the people you love most.

When In-Laws Cross the Line

Let’s be real. Sometimes the biggest challenge to your marriage isn’t a lack of love or commitment between you and your spouse. It’s the outside voices trying to get inside.

Whether it’s pressure over where you spend holidays, how you raise your kids, how you handle your money, or even how you spend your weekends—when parents and in-laws start influencing decisions that should belong to you and your spouse, you’re on dangerous ground.

Here’s why it matters:
If you’re constantly deferring to your parents or in-laws, you risk creating resentment in your marriage.
If you’re afraid to say no, you end up saying yes to things that don’t align with your relationship.
And if you don’t back your spouse up in front of your family, you’re unintentionally choosing them over your partner.

You didn’t say “I do” to your mom or dad.
You said “I do” to your spouse.
That relationship has to come first.

So What Can You Do?

Setting boundaries with family isn’t about cutting people off or disrespecting your parents. It’s about protecting the relationship you’ve committed to for life.

Here are a few ways to do it well:

✅ Set Boundaries Early and Clearly
It’s okay to have a direct, loving conversation that says:
“Mom, Dad—I love you. But from now on, decisions about our marriage, our home, and our family are decisions we’regoing to make together.”

✅ Stay Committed to Your Spouse’s Side
It doesn’t matter if it’s your parent or your spouse’s parent—you need to back each other up. Present a united front in front of family. Never throw your spouse under the bus just to keep the peace with your parents.

✅ Seek Advice—But Don’t Hand Over Control
There’s nothing wrong with asking parents for wisdom or input. But remember: advice is a gift. Control is a problem.
Take advice under consideration, but make decisions as a couple.

✅ No Venting to Parents About Your Spouse
Want to damage trust in your marriage faster than anything else? Start complaining to your mom or dad about your spouse. Your parents will hold onto those offenses way longer than you will.
Instead, vent to a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor who’s for your marriage—not your parents, who will always see you as their kid.

✅ Know When to Create Distance
And for some couples, this may be the hardest truth of all:
If your parent or in-law is truly toxic, abusive, manipulative, or refuses to respect boundaries, creating distance isn’t disrespectful—it’s protective. You can love family members from a healthy distance when necessary.

You’re Not Marrying Into a Family… You’re Starting a New One

I want you to hear this: You’re not being selfish or disrespectful by setting boundaries. You’re being wise.

Your marriage deserves to be its own thing—not an extension of your parents’ marriage, not a family project everyone gets a say in, but a partnership between you and your spouse alone.

Seeking advice from family is okay. Letting family be part of your life is good. But when it crosses the line into interference, it’s not helpful—it’s harmful.

When you said “I do,” you started something new. And it’s okay to say:

“We love you. But we’re going to do things our way.”

Because at the end of the day, you’re building a marriage that lasts—not just keeping the peace for the moment.

A Quick Disclaimer

Every family is different. Every marriage is unique. What worked for us might look different for you. Please weigh this advice in light of your situation, and never be afraid to seek professional counseling or pastoral guidance if family dynamics feel overwhelming.

Join the Conversation

➡️ Follow us on Instagram @mywifestilllikesme for more tips, encouragement, and behind-the-scenes content.
➡️ Check out free resources and tools at mywifestilllikesme.com.
➡️ Have you ever had to set tough boundaries with family? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear how you navigated it!

👉 Want extra help? Download our free printable: “5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs With In-Laws.” Click here to get yours.

✨ Final Thoughts

Your marriage is worth protecting. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re guardrails that help keep love, trust, and unity intact.

Don’t be afraid to draw the lines that keep your marriage healthy.
And don’t forget: your spouse comes first. Always.